My Everything.

Today I had an unsuccessful day at work, but in failure I often find the best chances to learn about life.

I was feeling happy and not sure why, smiling and laughing for much of the evening with guests and co workers alike. I was in a great mood all of the night, and not really worrying about what my pay would be like.
When I was cashing out with my manager at the end of the night, she noticed that I had not made very much money and was noticeably upset for me.

When leaving her office, she said “Sorry the money was so bad tonight. That must really be upsetting.” Smiling and turning back I said “some money isn’t a big deal, it isn’t everything in life.” She was taken aback a little, obviously confused by my reasoning. “Sure it is!,” she replied. “Money is what we work for.”

I left the office with the conversation suspended in my mind, and could not stop wondering about where our allegiances lie. Is money everything in life? What is our motivation for life, what is my driving motivation?

What do I spend the most time on, what do I enjoy most?

I try to place God at the forefront of my life, and I am constantly letting other things take priority. School, work, music, whatever computer project I am fooling around with at the moment, friends, adventure – but most things that take up my time often seem trivial when placed in the perspective of a lifetime.

I want so much to spend my time on the things that really matter in life.

I want my motivations to be pure, and my love for others constant.

I get mad so often, I speak with haste and without prior thought.  Yesterday i had a coworker overhear me speak with anger towards a situation. Her reply was a shocked one – “Are you allowed to say that? Aren’t you studying to become a pastor?”

To hear someone say that completely winded me, knocking me off of my feet. If my motivations are not clear to others around me, are they even there?

A man in love cannot speak of anything but his love. A man having reached a great achievement cannot wait to tell all his peers. Shouldn’t a man consumed by God be equally affected?

I have always told others that God is my everything, and not always lived the life to back it up.

I want it to be evident where my allegiances lie, I want the whole world to know:

Jesus is my everything. Today, tomorrow, and always.

I want to be completely lost when apart from Him for a second, like a man in the utter darkness of night.

Life is too short to live unfulfilled, and unmotivated, and it is my simple prayer that I may live for Him in such a way that even strangers will know what my “everything” is.

What is your “everything”? Is it immediately evident to those around you?

What motivates your life? Your actions? Your speech?

What do you love most in this life?

~ by closetosomethingreal on September 28, 2008.